{"product_id":"97-functioning-adult-unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt","title":"97% functioning adult - Unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt","description":"The ultimate statistical margin of error for a seemingly put-together life. This shirt is for anyone who has successfully mastered the major tenets of adulthood—paying bills on time, grocery shopping with a reusable bag, and maintaining a semi-regular sleep schedule—but still harbors that critical 3% that is pure, unadulterated chaos.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nThe Technical Report:\u003cbr\u003e\n• The 97%: Look at you go. You have a LinkedIn profile, you know what a deductible is, and you occasionally buy vegetables with the full intention of eating them before they turn into liquid in the crisper drawer.\u003cbr\u003e\n• The 3% System Failure: The absolute disaster zone. This is the part of your brain that still leaves clean laundry in the basket for a business week, forgets why they walked into a room, and uses a password that is just a word you can see from your desk.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nPro-tip: Perfect for wearing to a parent-teacher conference, a bank appointment, or while eating cereal out of a mixing bowl with a fork because you haven't run the dishwasher. It tells the world you are fully capable of handling major crises, but you absolutely cannot be trusted with a label maker.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\nIf you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.\u003cbr\u003e\n\u003cbr\u003e\n• 100% ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e\n• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e\n• Garment-dyed\u003cbr\u003e\n• Relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e\n• 7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003cbr\u003e\n• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability\u003cbr\u003e\n• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003cbr\u003e\n• Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\u003cdiv class=\"table-responsive dynamic\" data-unit-system=\"metric\"\u003e\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE CENTER BACK (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eS\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e46.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e67.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e41.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eM\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e51.4\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e71.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e45\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.9\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e74.6\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e48.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eXL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e61\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e78.1\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e52\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003e2XL\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e66\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e80.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e55.3\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003c\/tr\u003e\n\u003c\/tbody\u003e\u003c\/table\u003e\u003c\/div\u003e","brand":"CheekySupply","offers":[{"title":"White \/ S","offer_id":51422312333532,"sku":"5140544_15124","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ M","offer_id":51422312366300,"sku":"5140544_15125","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ L","offer_id":51422312399068,"sku":"5140544_15126","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ XL","offer_id":51422312431836,"sku":"5140544_15127","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"White \/ 2XL","offer_id":51422312464604,"sku":"5140544_15128","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ S","offer_id":51422312169692,"sku":"5140544_16523","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ M","offer_id":51422312202460,"sku":"5140544_16524","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ L","offer_id":51422312235228,"sku":"5140544_16525","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ XL","offer_id":51422312267996,"sku":"5140544_16526","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true},{"title":"Ivory \/ 2XL","offer_id":51422312300764,"sku":"5140544_16527","price":39.99,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0820\/9422\/7676\/files\/studioclean_unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt-white-front-6a36a248340e4.png_1781966701953.jpg?v=1781968771","url":"https:\/\/cheekysupply.com\/products\/97-functioning-adult-unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt","provider":"CheekySupply","version":"1.0","type":"link"}