{"product_id":"mercury-retrograde-made-me-do-it-unisex-garment-dyed-heavyweight-t-shirt","title":"Mercury retrograde made me do it - Unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt","description":"\u003cp\u003eThe ultimate cosmic get-out-of-jail-free card. This shirt is for anyone who refuses to take personal responsibility for their chaotic decisions, missed alarms, or text messages when there is a perfectly good planetary alignment to blame instead. It’s not a lack of impulse control; it’s just astronomy.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eThe Cosmic Alibi:\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e• Astrological Immunity: Why hold yourself accountable for your life choices when a rock floating millions of miles away in space is clearly pulling the strings? It’s the perfect defense mechanism for your worst impulses.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cmeta charset=\"utf-8\"\u003e• System-Wide Malfunction: When your emails disappear, your GPS misbehaves, or you accidentally cancel your own plans, you aren't being disorganized—the universe is actively gaslighting you.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003ePro-tip: Ideal for wearing during those specific three-week windows when everything goes completely off the rails, or honestly, any other day of the year when you just need a convenient explanation for being a bit of a disaster.\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003eIf you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e• 100% ring-spun cotton\u003cbr\u003e• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz\/yd² (206.8 g\/m²)\u003cbr\u003e• Garment-dyed\u003cbr\u003e• Relaxed fit\u003cbr\u003e• 7\/8″ double-needle topstitched collar\u003cbr\u003e• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability\u003cbr\u003e• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems\u003cbr\u003e• Blank product sourced from Honduras\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong class=\"size-guide-title\"\u003eSize guide\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cdiv data-unit-system=\"metric\" class=\"table-responsive dynamic\"\u003e\n\u003ctable cellpadding=\"5\"\u003e\n\u003ctbody\u003e\n\u003ctr\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e \u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eWIDTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eLENGTH (cm)\u003c\/strong\u003e\u003c\/td\u003e\n\u003ctd\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eSLEEVE CENTER BACK 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