I don't snore. I dream loudly - Unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt

Finally, a scientific explanation for the tectonic-shifting sounds coming from your side of the bed. This isn't "snoring"—it’s a high-definition, surround-sound broadcast of your subconscious adventures. This shirt is for the elite sleepers who don’t just rest; they perform. It’s a rebranding of a sleep disorder into a cinematic audio experience that your roommates simply didn't buy a ticket for.

The Sleep Strategy:
• Creative Marketing: Why apologize for keeping the entire household awake when you can frame it as being a "passionate narrator" of your own REM cycle? You’re not being disruptive; you’re just a very enthusiastic dreamer who happens to operate at 90 decibels.
• The Look: A soft, comfortable tee that says "I’m a peaceful angel" while your partner’s morning eye-twitch says otherwise.

Pro-tip: Ideal for group trips where you’re inevitably voted "Most Likely to be Banished to the Couch" or as a preemptive apology before a long-haul flight. It won’t actually muffle the sound, but it serves as a legally binding disclaimer that you’re busy winning a fictional marathon in your sleep and you require a high-volume soundtrack to do it.

If you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)
• Garment-dyed
• Relaxed fit
• 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability
• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
• Blank product sourced from Honduras

Size guide