I'm not moody. I'm uncaffeinated - Unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt
True Navy / S
$42.99 USD
Sale price
$42.99 USD
Regular price
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The ultimate disclaimer for your early morning social interactions. This shirt is for the person whose entire personality, patience, and politeness are completely gatekept by a single hot beverage. You aren't "difficult" or "unpleasant"—you are simply an unfinished product until the espresso hits your bloodstream.
The Chemical Disclaimer:
• The Baseline Warning: A public service announcement that any attitude, side-eye, or monosyllabic answers received before 9 AM are a direct result of chemical deprivation, not personal malice. You are operating on emergency backup power.
• The Metamorphosis: It’s a literal transformation sequence. You aren't changing your mind; you are just transitioning from a hostile background character into a cooperative member of society, one sip at a time.
Pro-tip: The perfect uniform for standing in line at the coffee shop or sitting through that first, unnecessary meeting of the day. It saves you the energy of apologizing for your facial expressions and serves as a direct warning to everyone involved that they need to wait for the cup to be empty before making any major requests.
If you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.
• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)
• Garment-dyed
• Relaxed fit
• 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability
• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
• Blank product sourced from Honduras
I'm not moody. I'm uncaffeinated - Unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt
$42.99 USD
Sale price
$42.99 USD
Regular price
The Chemical Disclaimer:
• The Baseline Warning: A public service announcement that any attitude, side-eye, or monosyllabic answers received before 9 AM are a direct result of chemical deprivation, not personal malice. You are operating on emergency backup power.
• The Metamorphosis: It’s a literal transformation sequence. You aren't changing your mind; you are just transitioning from a hostile background character into a cooperative member of society, one sip at a time.
Pro-tip: The perfect uniform for standing in line at the coffee shop or sitting through that first, unnecessary meeting of the day. It saves you the energy of apologizing for your facial expressions and serves as a direct warning to everyone involved that they need to wait for the cup to be empty before making any major requests.
If you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.
• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)
• Garment-dyed
• Relaxed fit
• 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability
• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
• Blank product sourced from Honduras
Size guide
| WIDTH (cm) | LENGTH (cm) | SLEEVE CENTER BACK (cm) | |
| S | 46.4 | 67.6 | 41.3 |
| M | 51.4 | 71.1 | 45 |
| L | 55.9 | 74.6 | 48.3 |
| XL | 61 | 78.1 | 52 |
| 2XL | 66 | 80.3 | 55.3 |