Mercury retrograde made me do it - Unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt

The ultimate cosmic get-out-of-jail-free card. This shirt is for anyone who refuses to take personal responsibility for their chaotic decisions, missed alarms, or text messages when there is a perfectly good planetary alignment to blame instead. It’s not a lack of impulse control; it’s just astronomy.

The Cosmic Alibi:
• Astrological Immunity: Why hold yourself accountable for your life choices when a rock floating millions of miles away in space is clearly pulling the strings? It’s the perfect defense mechanism for your worst impulses.
• System-Wide Malfunction: When your emails disappear, your GPS misbehaves, or you accidentally cancel your own plans, you aren't being disorganized—the universe is actively gaslighting you.

Pro-tip: Ideal for wearing during those specific three-week windows when everything goes completely off the rails, or honestly, any other day of the year when you just need a convenient explanation for being a bit of a disaster.

If you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)
• Garment-dyed
• Relaxed fit
• 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability
• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
• Blank product sourced from Honduras

Size guide