Surviving on coffee and spite - Unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt

The high-octane fuel for the person who is motivated purely by caffeine and the burning desire to prove everyone wrong. This shirt is for the elite multitaskers who are running on a dangerous mixture of triple-shot espressos and a grudge from 2017. You aren't "stressed"—you’re just powered by a renewable resource known as "being too stubborn to quit."

The Chemical Equation:
• Liquid Ambition: Why rely on "sleep" or "inner peace" when you can just vibrate at a frequency high enough to ignore your problems? Coffee handles the heart rate; spite handles the to-do list.
• The "Watch Me" Aesthetic: A clean, bold design that says "I’m a professional," while the subtext clearly indicates you are currently thriving out of sheer, unadulterated defiance.

Ideal for:
• Mondays, Tuesdays, and any day ending in "y."
• Replying to "per my last email" with surgical precision.
• Accomplishing more in two hours of caffeinated rage than most people do in a week of "wellness."

Pro-tip: This tee works best when you’re on your fourth cup of the day and someone suggests you "just try to relax." It won't lower your blood pressure, but it will serve as a stylish warning that you are a caffeinated force of nature and you have several people left to outlive.

If you’re looking for a thick, structured tee that’s also super soft and breathable—look no further! The unisex garment-dyed heavyweight t-shirt ticks all the boxes and is made of 100% ring-spun cotton. The regular t-shirt style will complement most looks and fit you to a tee.

• 100% ring-spun cotton
• Fabric weight: 6.1 oz/yd² (206.8 g/m²)
• Garment-dyed
• Relaxed fit
• 7/8″ double-needle topstitched collar
• Twill-taped neck and shoulders for extra durability
• Double-needle armhole, sleeve, and bottom hems
• Blank product sourced from Honduras

Size guide